Words and Wisdom of Milton Crabapple

Blind Walmart Cashier

2006-08-24T12:52:00.000-07:00

A funny thing happened to me at Walmart yesterday. I was buyin'me a new fishin' rod and reel for carp and catfishin'. When I got up to the check-out line, I noticed that the cashierlady was blind. I thought that was strange but this day and time not so unusual. While I was wait'n, I dropped the rod and reel and when it hit the floor the blind lady said, "That's the new Zebco 33 combo. It's on sale for $20.00".

Now I thought, "Wow....she can tell what kind'a rod & reel it is just by hear'in it hit the floor".

Anyhow, when I bent over to pick it up, I accidentally let one.....passed gas...right there. I figured since she was blind she wouldn't know it was me. Anyhow, when I got to the check-out counter she said,"That'll be $30.00 Sir".

I said, "You told me the Zebco combo was on sale for $20.00".

She said, "It is....but that duck call and that catfish bait you got is $10.00 more dollars!"

Watch This New Video

2006-08-21T11:52:00.000-07:00

http://www.miltoncrabapple.com/mike_teaches_milton_broadband/index.html

Watch this video by clicking link above!

Wheaties for Carp

2006-08-19T16:13:00.000-07:00

I heard a fella' on "O'Neill Outside" on WSB radio talkin' about usin' Wheaties fer Carp bait. He said you wet'em and mak'em into a ball and just pack'em around a hook and throw'em out on the bottom and wait fer a big carp to eat'em and take off. Ya'll ever heard'a that? I need some tips on carp bait. I been usin' corn fer alotta' years and it seems to work fine. I'd like to try a new bait. Any suggestions?

Milton's e-mail list

2006-08-12T07:35:00.000-07:00

Folks, Ya'll need to be sure to sign up fer my e-mail newsletter. You can do it on my website....MiltonCrabapple.com. I'll be keepin' you posted on all the huntin' & fishin' news from the CHC (Crabapple Huntin' Club). Tell all your friends and neighbors to sign up too! We're gonna be havin' contests and giveaways from time to time and you don't wanta miss out. Much obliged to ya.

Popcorn incident!

2006-08-11T08:43:00.000-07:00

I don't know about ya'll but this heat is about to get the best of me. I lost my mule yesterday and that was the last straw. I've had that old mule fer many years and he just up and died. What happened was strange. Never heard of it happenin' before. I was out in the field plowin' with my mule and it was so hot that the popcorn I was growing just started to pop. Yes sir. Right there on the stalks. Just started a poppin' like crazy. Well, when my mule saw all the popped corn all over the ground, he thought it was snow and the rascal just up and froze death right there in the field. Yes sir....froze solid!

Carp Fishin' video

2006-08-10T18:46:00.000-07:00

Well folks....I just finished my carp fishin' video. It it a goodun too. Caught lots of carp and had a good time. You can pick up a copy on by website....www.miltoncrabapple.com. Check it out and let me know what you think. Do you want to see more videos?

Now That There Was a Biggun'

2006-04-05T11:41:00.000-07:00

When it comes to huntin', some folks are meat hunters like me, but some folks are strictly trophy hunters. I never quite understood that mindset. Don't make much sense to me to let a nice buck go by just because his rack ain't exactly what you are looking for. The meat tastes just fine, and the feet make good gunracks and the hide makes a good cape or leggin's or pouches.

Anyhow, I was hog huntin' awhile back and I came up on this feller a'settin' up against this tree trunk waitin' fer a hog to come along. And so I asked him, "Seen anything?", and he says to me......"Why, I just saw the biggest hog I've ever seen in my whole life. This hog must have been 8 feet long and weighed over 8 hundred lbs. He had big tusks.....10 or 12 inches long, curled way up higher than his ears. He had fire coming out of his eyes and he was pawing at the ground as he looked at me from no more that 10 ft. away. Yes Sir.....He was a real whopper. I've never seen a hog like that before".

"Did you shoot'im", I asked.

"Nope"

"Whay not?"

"Well...It was early in the day and I thought, if I waited, I might see a bigger one!"

lGrabblin' with O'Neill

2006-03-31T17:47:00.000-08:00

Don't forget to check out my grabblin' video on the website. We've got a new one comin' out soon. Also, there will be a story on me in Outdoor Life Magazine in the May issue. Ya'll be sure to check it out!

Much obliged,
Milton

Carp Fishin' Tournament

2006-03-28T14:50:00.000-08:00

I forgot to mention that me & Dude are workin' on the 1st annual Carp Fishin' and Turtle Grabblin' Seminar. We'll send you an envite by e-mail. Be sure to sign up on the website

New Crappie Cleaning Method

2006-03-28T11:54:00.000-08:00

Folks....I was taught a method of cleanin' crappie by Grandpa years ago and I wanta'share it with all'a ya'll. I will be puttin' it on a video and you can see me do it right here on this Blog. You'll never fillet another crappie again....Guaranteed!

Stay tuned,
Milton

click here to see my website

We Ate The Gol-dern Thing!

2006-02-01T15:19:00.000-08:00

The holidays…..Thanksgiving and Christmas…..are definitely my favorite time of year. They sort’a make me feel like a kid again, I reckon. I like the food, the lights and decorations, and especially I like the visitin’. One of the funny things about the holidays is that, with certain friends and relatives, you only see’em once a year…..and that’s during the holidays. Now, with some of’em that’s good…..but with some of’em it ain’t so good.

Now, you take my nephew for instance. He took a job a few years back with this big oil company and they moved him off all the way down to South America. Me and Ma Crabapple ain’t seen’im since. But he still thinks of us and we hear from him right often……..especially during the holidays. He always sends us a nice Christmas present and it just tickles us to death to get it.

This past Christmas, he sent us a real unusual present. It was a live bird! Yes sir. A real live bird…..all the way from South America. Now, it was a real nice lookin’ bird too. A big green bird…..about a foot tall, with a hooked beak and a red and yellow top-knot on his head. I’ll tell you somethin’……that bird was delicious. We had ’im for Christmas dinner…….with dressin’ and sweet potaters and cranberry sauce. Yes sir. We really enjoyed that bird.

Well……my nephew called about two weeks after Christmas and wanted to know if’n we had a good one and I told him we did. He wanted to know if’n we got the bird and I said, “We got’im all right”. He asked me how we liked’im, and I said, “He was dilicious!” Well, my nephew got mad as a hornet in a hailstorm. Yes sir. I mean he got fight’n mad. He said, “I can’t believe you ate that bird. I didn’t intend for you to eat the gol-dern thing. Why, that bird was worth a fortune. That thing could speak three different languages!”

I said, “Well……..He should’a said somethin’!”